thursday thoughts

jehara left a thought provoking comment on my first post on this blog, wondering if it's my refrigerator that prompted the backsliding.

just the backstory--we have a really cheap-ass refrigerator. every now and then it totally freezes up, and then everything in the refrigerator goes bad if i don't notice it in time; we have to take everything out of the freezer and refrigerator, take out the bottom level of the freezer, get the ice blocks melted and out of there, reassemble the freezer, put everything back in and replace what didn't get ruined.

so yeah, that's definitely been part of the problem.

another part of the problem is that my kitchen is just nasty.  we have some spots in the floor where the peel and stick linoleum came up because there's some rot in the floor underneath. so no matter how much or how often we mop, the floor is always gross. the cabinets in the kitchen are really cheap stuff, and the fronts are coming off all the drawers. we keep banging them back on, but they're off again in a week. we also don't have enough cabinet or counter space. it's a really small unpleasant little kitchen area.

so the kitchen problems combined with joe being out of town so much means i get lazier than i should. and sometimes i have trouble sleeping, which means i have trouble getting up in the morning. take today, for instance. i went to see a movie last night because i just needed to unwind (more on that in a sec), so i didn't get home until almost 10 p.m. that meant getting up this morning was really difficult, and made even more difficult because lolo was coming early because we had to drop her mom off at work and then try to get to the office by 7. i also had to lure the dogs back behind the doggie gate in the hall because some people were coming to replace our back door today.  in all the furor, i didn't have time to eat my raisin bran (hello einstein bros) and totally forgot to grab lunch out of the freezer (would have been bbq riblets & a bag of veggies for me & lolo to share).

we have a cafe at work. before we moved into the new building, we were told there would be a salad bar, and i was ecstatic. there's not. they have overpriced pre-made salads that are (a) made out of salad butts; (b) have tons of cheese in them; and (c) usually have meat in them. they have veggie burgers but they're not very good. they have overpriced little cups of fruit that don't usually have a lot of taste. they have the occasional banana or red delicious apple, which are red yucky apples. please.  and they have plenty of pizza (usually meat, and they sometimes have vegetarian pizza, which is still covered with cheese), cooked vegetables (dripping with butter and grease), a grill where they do burgers and fries and chicken and turkey burgers and grilled cheese, and a little sandwich bar where i have been known to get a mustard sandwich with lettuce and tomato and a few cucumber slices.  basically, if you're an omni or a lacto-ovo, you're fine. vegan, not so much.  i did talk to the cafe manager a few weeks ago about getting black bean burgers to replace the bland unappetizing veggie burgers, and she said she'd check into it.  and just yesterday they emailed a survey to everyone in the building, which i have filled out and requested more vegan options.

so there are a whole lot of factors contributing to my backsliding. what can i do about them? because i'm the only person who can stop it.

seeing as how i have to go for convenience foods, i have to keep my freezer stocked.  i usually have a box or two of riblets, some fake chicken, some amy's burritos, and lots of frozen veggies.  i realize all the processed stuff may not be all that great, but it beats the offerings in the cafe at work or in the fast food places.  and lolo and i will usually share a bag of frozen veggies at lunch, along with whatever else, and when i'm on top of my game i'll have another bag of frozen veggies with my dinner.

i got a stainless steel water bottle to keep at work, and i've got a little mug for when i want some cider or green tea. i can make a batch of iced green or herb tea to keep in my fridge, and i can grab a bottle of that to take with me in the mornings.

when i have a big bowl of raisin bran with rice milk in the mornings, then i don't snack during the day. that means i've got to start getting up a little earlier, which means i've got to start going to bed a little earlier.  and actually right now i don't snack at all. lolo and i are working on a special project at work, and we're putting in 10 hour days and we're lucky if we get 15-20 minutes to scarf down some lunch.

one of our neighbours has a friend who does a lot of custom construction stuff, and he came by a few weeks ago and talked to joe. he was a blessing from heaven!! they negotiated a price, and he got the paint sanded off the house, repainted, installed our back door, and made some repairs that sorely needed to be made on the outside of the house.  he and i talked today, and he's going to give us an estimate for the kitchen floor, the cabinets and counter-tops, the painting, and installing a doggie door.  we're going to end up spending another $4k or so to get everything done that needs to be done in the kitchen, so i don't know how long it will take--we'll have to get things done in dribbles and drabbles--but it's going to be really, really nice to get those things completed. the doggie door may be the very first thing, because i've got to be able to get a full night's sleep without scout waking me up with his impossible-to-ignore whimpers because he wants to go outside.  the floor will definitely be the next thing, though.

so i think i'll end this post here. it's been good to ruminate on the situation and try to come up with solutions. and i'm going to take my night-time meds and go into the kitchen and get some green tea made up and into the fridge.

jehara, thanks for giving me an opportunity to stop and think.